


In Passing

by deux_lunes



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-19 14:59:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20659106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deux_lunes/pseuds/deux_lunes
Summary: Paul has a vision while crossing Abbey Road.Originally posted to Livejournal.





	In Passing

It’s too hot today. Unnaturally hot, even. For the last week, it had been rather wet, which was to be expected of London, even in August, but this heat is unprecedented. I hate it. God, how I hate it. I sit on the corner of Abbey Road, pulling my sandals off and hissing as my feet hit the pavement. Even hot asphalt is better than fucking shoes.

I laugh a little to myself, and start to call out to John to tell him the funny I just came up with. But he’s talking with Yoko again. I swallow my comment and place my other foot firmly on the ground, trying to distract myself with another form of pain.

“Okay, again, boys!” Iain calls, rushing back to his ladder in the middle of the street. “We’re just gonna do a couple more. You ready, Paul?”

“Yeah, Paul, you ready, princess?” John taunts, looking at me from over his shoulder. Yoko follows suit, and I wish that I had pushed her in front of the bus that is slowly rumbling away from us.

“I’m ready, Iain,” I yell, and I struggle to pull myself up without burning my hands. No one offers to help me, not even John. He’s too busy attending to his wife, giving her a small kiss before he gets back into position. In the old days, John would have picked me up from behind, he would have carried me across the road himself. Now I’m lucky if I can get a remark out of him that isn’t dripped with loathing. Instead of scowling, I light myself a cigarette, trying to ignore the tidal wave of jealousy that washed over me as I watch them look into each other’s eyes and smile.

“Come on, lads, the copper won’t hold traffic forever!” Iain is in position, and I don’t rush to get to my spot behind Ringo.

“Should you be smokin’ that, Paul?” Ringo asks me quietly. “You weren’t in any of the other shots. Don’t you want continuity?” 

“I don’t really give a toss, Ritchie,” I reply flippantly, and take a drag to prove my point. I immediately feel bad as his eyes flash with hurt and he turns away without another word. When did I become this… this bastard? I didn’t want to hurt Ringo, not anymore than I wanted to hurt George or John. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I reach out to get Ringo’s attention, but Iain starts yelling at us to move, so I drop my hand and start walking, my feet instantly starting to burn as I move into the sun.

The sun is so bright, I can see waves rising from the pavement. I feel George behind me, his animosity toward me almost tangible. And over Ringo’s head, I can see John, his hair so long, looking so much more auburn now than it ever has before. He stayed in bed to grow his hair, he stayed in bed to grow his love with Yoko. I squint to block the sun and the tears from getting through. He could lie in bed in front of the entire world with her, but in public, he couldn’t even hold my hand. I could still feel him kissing me, holding me, fucking me, _loving_ me, and he could never feel the same way about her! I blink hard. The damn sun is making my eyes water.

It might just be the sun, it might be the last remnants of the pot I smoked earlier, but I can see four young men running towards us. I’m frozen in my spot; nothing is moving but these four boys. They’re dressed in black suits, quite like the suits we used to wear, back when we toured, back when Brian was still alive. Those moptop hairdos these boys are wearing, didn’t they know they went out of style years ago? But… They look so happy. They _are_ happy. 

They’re running so freely. They look like they’ve escaped their guardians and they’re going to make as much mischief as they can. I have to laugh as one of them ruffles another’s hair, making him pout, then laugh along with the others. In the back of my mind, I know I should tell them to get out of the shot, but I can’t bring myself to do that. It’s just a photo. It’s just another album. These boys and their happiness, that’s what’s important now. 

They’ve run past us now, still running away from the studio, but out of the corner of my eye, I see the one who ruffled the younger boy’s hair grab his friend’s hand, and quickly, very very quickly, pull him into a soft kiss. The younger boy looks around, scared that someone has seen, but obviously decides that isn’t as important as giving his friend a kiss in return. The older boy grins and pulls him along, trying to catch up to the other two, but never dropping his hand. Somewhere deep inside me, I realize that I knew those boys.

“Ouch! Shit!” I curse as my foot unexpectedly comes into contact with the curb. George and Ringo laugh at my misfortune, but John falls back, his eyes concerned behind those little granny glasses he insists on wearing.

“You okay, Macca?”

I swallow my profanity, my vision of those boys, my complaints about Yoko, my fears about _us_. I just focus on John’s eyes, and take the hand that is offered to me. “Yeah. I’m okay, John.”

He grins slightly. “You gotta pay attention.”

“Stubbed toe’s not the end of the world, is it?” I haven’t let go of his hand and he hasn’t pulled it back yet.

“Nah. Guess not.” 

We only get to stay like that for another moment before Iain yells, “One more shot, boys, then we’re done!” I glance to the other side of the street, where Yoko and my own very pregnant wife stand. Gathering my courage, I touch John’s elbow lightly. “John? You worried about what’s coming next?”

He looks at me, his face completely honest and unfettered. “All the time, Paulie. But you know I’ll be there. No matter what happens.”

I smile slightly, trying to blink the damn water away from my eyes once again. “Thanks, Johnny…”

“John! Paul! Let’s move it!”

We move away from each other once again, getting into our designed positions, and we walk back to the rest of our lives.

The End


End file.
